


Different states of a Rock~y

by Jinjinpuu



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24507955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinjinpuu/pseuds/Jinjinpuu
Summary: Jinjin finding a broken Rocky and wishing that he could make him feel whole again. But maybe he wasn't the man for the Job. Bin could apparently make Rocky at least a semblance of who he was. MJ plays cupid but it seems like he might have some agenda. Rocky is much more complicated yet simple. Eunwoo is too busy to see what's in front of him. Sanha doesn't differentiate coz he is a childmarchnoona's story already has a set pairing, but for this one... the pairings might be different and well sorry noona if it becomes too different :O
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Moon Bin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Yoon Sanha, Moon Bin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29





	1. Pebble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marchnoona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marchnoona/gifts).



March 2016

Jinjin awoke with a start, he felt a thin sheet of sweat on his forehead as it took him a second to notice that it was still dark out and MJ beside him was still sleeping soundly in his bed. It has already been a few days since he would wake up in the middle of the night like this. He usually woke up later than anyone in the dorm, well saved for Bin he supposed but still he wasn’t a morning person.

He glanced at the bedside table clock and took notice that it wasn't night per se but rather 4am in the morning. He groggily rubbed his eyes as the last vestiges of sleep was starting to leave his senses. Sighing heavily Jinjin rolled on his bed getting his eyes to adjust to the darkness, the only light in the room was the dim light that showed through the window from the streetlights outside their room. 

Jinjin gingerly sat up, since he was well aware that he wouldn’t be able to sleep again for the duration of the morning so he might as well start his day early. He heard a soft noise from the upper bunk and momentarily wondered if he inadvertently woke someone up. He stood up and slowly looked at the upper bunk, seeing Sanha snoring while sleeping was the first thing he saw and he looked around above the bunk and noticed that Rocky was not in his bed. Jinjin tried to think back to yesterday and he was sure that Rocky went home last night together with Bin and Dongmin. He also vividly remember Rocky sleeping on his bed and not on the other room with Bin and Dongmin which he usually does when he and Bin was in the mood to hang out.

Jinjin remembered that Rocky had a knack for sleeping in the living room, he would always sleep in the living room in their past dormitory especially when him and Jinjin’s futon was beside each other. Rocky was like that towards him, he knew Rocky considered him as a friend but he supposed the boy was still a bit awkward around him. The boy had an aloof yet passionate personality, aside from Bin and Sanha the boy was awkward mostly towards him and Dongmin. MJ was an aggressive friend so there really was very little leeway of getting the eldest at an arm’s length. 

Jinjin left the room to get himself a cup of coffee but stopped abruptly when he noticed that the living room was devoid of Rocky. This made Jinjin feel unsettled, feeling that unconsciously seeing Rocky in the living room when he went out would give him a bit of relief. But relief wasn’t the feeling he got right now, it was uneasiness, he knew the boy could take care of himself but still he was young and not yet an adult. Pushing his thoughts aside Jinjin checked the bathroom and even peeked at Bin and Min’s room but no Rocky was to be seen.

‘Where could have that kid gone off to’ Jinjin thought to himself. The others knew that if they ever have somewhere they would go it was a must to tell Jinjin where they were going off to. Feeling a bit off and unsettled Jinjin walked outside and went towards the entrance of the building, thinking that maybe Rocky just went off to the convenience store looking for some snack. Though he knew that was very unlikely since Rocky was mostly the one who stacks the fridge with his favorite food and milk. Jinjin stood outside the building finally aware that he was still wearing his pajama. The cold morning air seemingly sticking him with sharp pins and needles. 

That’s right he shouldn’t worry too much, Rocky was a smart boy maybe he just went out for a breath of fresh air. Even though Jinjin was thinking of Rocky’s good judgment he still slowly walked around the block and found that Rocky was not around and the convenience store close to the building was devoid of Rocky. Jinjin became more unsettled it was too early right now, there was barely any traffic, too early for people to go to work and late enough that people coming back from the bar would have either already passed out on the street or back in the confines of their homes or police stations. This was just about the time that everyone in Seoul was sleeping… well aside from him and Rocky apparently.

Getting a bit irritated Jinjin shoved his hand on his pajama pockets and felt a hard object. He pulled it out and huffed hard he had unconsciously brought his phone and if he was in his right mind from the get go he would have had the idea of just texting or calling Rocky. Hopefully the boy brought his phone with him as he sent a message “Where are you?” 

A short and concise message that he thought would be appropriate without sounding like he was out of his mind thinking where the younger was at this hour of the day. Jinjin impatiently walked around the front of the building debating if he should call to see if the younger would answer him but stopping himself that maybe he was just being paranoid. Finally after a minute or two in which he was about to call the aforementioned boy his phone chimed and he quickly looked at the message. 

“Outside. I needed fresh air.” Jinjin released a sigh of relief. He looked around frowning, that’s right Rocky probably just went out for a run. Maybe Rocky went out a few more blocks away that’s why he wasn’t around the area. Rocky was responsible, he shouldn’t act like he was a baby, he wasn’t Sanha by any length of the word. Even if Jinjin was thinking these thoughts he still couldn’t shake off the feeling that when he was Rocky’s age he didn’t tell anyone what he felt either he would just bottle it up and it would explode by itself. He shook his head shaking the feeling away, Rocky wasn’t like him the younger can take care of himself.

“Get back home. It’s late as it is.” Even with all his justification Jinjin couldn’t stop himself from being concerned for the younger. He sat on the pavement just outside their building, shivering as the chilly morning air once again blew in his direction. He silently cursed himself for not getting a sweater or something before leaving the dorm. 

Jinjin was about to message the boy again when he saw Rocky appearing around the corner 10 minutes later. Jinjin was about to call him out when he noticed that Rocky’s long sleeves were wiping his face, he couldn’t decide if it was because of tears or sweat. The boy was staggering a bit as if he wasn’t fully in control of his movements which was very rare for Rocky. Since the dawn was silent he could clearly hear a muffled sob coming from the younger teen. Even without seeing Rocky’s face he knew that the younger had been crying and from the sound of it he must have been crying pretty hard if the muffled sob was any indication. When the younger was much closer to the building he stopped sniffling into his sleeves and looked at where he was walking and stopped suddenly. His face and eyes were red, tear streaks was still apparent on his cheeks as the younger looked at the older dumbfounded. He looked very distraught and this made Jinjin feel bad, he was well aware that Rocky did not appreciate being seen in such a situation. He supposed it wasn’t just Rocky, boys had a tendency to keep their sad emotions in check, well maybe except for himself since he was a big cry baby. 

Rocky was still in a standstill a few paces away from the building looking like an actual rock that didn’t know how to make the situation less awkward. Jinjin himself wasn’t really thinking much and just did what he naturally did. He gave Rocky a sympathetic smile and walked towards the younger boy, even if he was currently hurting seeing the younger in that state he kept his emotions in check lest he cry harder than the younger. He clapped Rocky’s arm with his smile still in place. “What’s wrong Rocky-ah?” 

It took a while before Rocky reacted to Jinjin’s question. Rocky looked at Jinjin with a slacked jawed look that seemed confused. “Why are you outside Jinjin-hyung?”

Jinjin returned Rocky’s confused stare with the same look. “I was waiting for you to come home...” Jinjin gave another smile. “I was worried since you weren’t around”

“Oh…” Rocky uttered with a face that Jinjin could not really describe, it was one of those fascinating faces Rocky made that Jinjin could never really understand what it meant. It was a stare that bordered to glaring but didn’t have the animosity that a glare should have.

“So… what’s wrong Rocky-ah”

“I…It’s nothing, I just needed some fresh air.” Rocky said. Jinjin gave a disappointed sigh, he should have known better than actually getting something out of Rocky. The boy was always surrounded by his shell the only one who can actually talk to him is Bin and even when he hated to admit it Bin can make the younger feel better.

“Did it help?” Jinjin asked with a sad smile creeping on his face, momentarily having his guard down. Rocky noticed the smile.

“No… not really” Rocky answered honestly a tear falling from his eyes as Jinjin’s sad smile was still on the olders face.

“Well, when I’m not in my right state of mind, I like to run… wanna do it with me?” Jinjin asked a more genuine smile beaming at his face. Rocky smiled back at his hyung, the sad face that he had sported just a few moments before was gone but his feelings was still in the brink of destruction. Jinjin liked to see the younger happy and it was so much better if he was the one who could make him happy. It might seem selfish but he wanted the privilege to be the one to make the younger rapper happy. It made him feel like he was a good friend, a good leader and a good hyung. Rocky was the only one who didn’t bully him about his looks or his slow personality. He might mention it once in a blue moon but he would say it so sweetly that he couldn’t afford to be offended by it.

“I might never stop running.” Rocky answered him with a whisper that Jinjin barely heard, the younger’s smile becoming a little smaller than it originally was.

“Let’s start then” Jinjin said with a smile as he took Rocky’s elbow and started to jog dragging the younger along with him. The chilly air whipping at his face and thin pajama’s, he knew he looked stupid jogging in his pajamas but that was a secondary problem right now. What he needed to do right now was to make Rocky feel better even if it ended up with him looking like an idiot, luckily he had the presence of mind to wear a pair of sneakers. A few minutes into the run and Rocky seemed to have gotten into running since he was now slight ahead of Jinjin, his tears streaking his face again. Jinjin kept his mouth shut as Rocky started to sprint keeping a slight distance ahead of the older boy. Few more minutes and Rocky was ahead of him more and Jinjin kept a few steps behind the younger to give the boy some space just running enough to have the younger within his line of sight.

Slightly an hour after they first started running Rocky stopped as he fell down, his hand propping him up beside a building. He must have reached his limit and Jinjin ran towards him. Rocky sat down on the pavement his face glistening with sweat and his hair damp. Jinjin stared at Rocky for a few seconds appreciating the beautiful boy in front of him. The morning light shining off of Rocky’s wet hair and face, the younger’s breath making small puffs of hot air and his chest heaving up and down. It was breathtakingly beautiful and Jinjin let himself give a sweet content smile on his lips as he looked at the younger. “Did it help?”

Rocky looked up as Jinjin stared at him, he blushed as he noticed his hyung staring at his hair, his face, his lips, his chest… He wasn’t used to being stared by Jinjin so bluntly, he couldn’t even really remember Jinjin looking at him the way the older was looking at him right now. It was very unsettling, but in a good expectant way. It took Rocky a few moments before it registered to him that his hyung was asking him a question repeatedly. Jinjin’s face a bit anxious as Rocky had not given an answer to the question at all.

“I guess” Rocky answered as he shook himself from his reverie. Pulling himself off of the fantasy that he had put in his head. He noticed Jinjin shivering as another puff of cold air passed by the morning air, it was roughly pass 5 now but the cold morning air was still around. It took Rocky a few seconds to register that Jinjin was wearing a tank top and a flimsy pajama bottoms and the only appropriate piece was a sneaker on his feet. Rocky shrugged off his hoodie revealing that he was still wearing a long sleeved shirt underneath. Rocky gave his hoodie to the older as he stood up with his help.

“Thanks…” Jinjin said as he wore the hoodie that smelled a lot like Rocky… which it should since the younger had been wearing it. He helped the younger up as they started walking back to their dormitory. Halfway home and Rocky had started making small talk with Jinjin which made Jinjin think that maybe the younger was feeling better now.

“Sorry for being silly Jinjin-hyung…” Rocky said in a small voice

“You aren’t being silly, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times you know…”

“… I made you run in your pajamas hyung” 

“You didn’t make me run in my pajamas, I did that myself and I would do it again if it means I can make you feel better” Jinjin said with a strong voice. “You don’t have to keep it all to yourself you know…”

“Thanks hyung…” Rocky said and a long silence followed after. “You weren’t supposed to see me like this…”

“Rocky-ya… people don’t like being seen at their weakest... but sometimes… it makes you understand someone better. Friends won’t judge you at your weakest, they will always stay by your side… I’ll be by your side” A long silence followed again until Jinjin couldn’t stop himself from asking again “So… want to tell me what happened?”

Rocky kept silent, biting his lips and keeping his fearful eyes away from Jinjin, his body was tensed. He knew what his hyung was saying... he was a friend and that was it. It took a while before he answered “it’s nothing… I’m just stressed”

“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to… the thing is… friends can make you feel better… Talk to Bin…” Jinjin said… even if that friend wasn’t him, he should be happy enough that someone can make Rocky happy.

“Thanks hyung…” Rocky said as he glanced at Jinjin’s side profile. The elders’ sharp jaw highlighted by the rising sun. They fell silent as travelled home, Rocky went directly to the shower as they arrived home while Jinjin went back to his bed thinking of taking a nap and showering after Rocky was done. The soft smell of Rocky’s hoodie lulling him to sleep without really meaning to.

“Jinjin-ya, are you planning on sleeping all morning?” A loud voice reverberated on Jinjin’s ear. He frowned, looking lost and slightly dizzy. The soft scent of Rocky’s hoodie tickling his nose as he gingerly opened his eyes. It was bright and sunny… too bright for dawn where his mind was still on. Someone poke him on the side to which he quickly moved away from giving a small chuckle. He was quite ticklish, not as ticklish as Dongmin but ticklish enough to react to being tickled. 

“I’m awake MJ-hyung…” Jinjin mumbled as he looked around him owlishly.

“Ya, take a shower, you smell like sweat…” MJ said as he gave Jinjin a sloppy grin and went back to what he was doing before, putting some spare clothes on a bag.

“Is Rocky done taking a shower?” Jinjin said groggily as he sat up, touched his hair and felt that it was slightly damp from sweat. He felt slightly warm probably because he was still wearing Rocky’s hoodie from this morning.

“He already left like four hours ago” MJ said as the elder looked at Jinjin again, his eyes squinting slightly as he noticed that Jinjin was wearing Rocky’s hoodie and not his own. He gave a slight smile “you should go take a shower… he’s probably at the studio right now”

“Where are the others?” Jinjin asked noticing that the elder might have some misconceived idea about him and Rocky. He wouldn’t put it past MJ-hyung to think up of a lot of gossip with very little information to work with.

“Sanha is at school… Bin and Eunwoo is at the studio doing some dance practice, seems like Minnie has been pestering Bin on giving him some private dance lessons” MJ said with a crooked smile as he heaved the bag to his shoulder. “I’m gonna go first, you should seriously take a shower” 

“Ok ok, I’m going now see” Jinjin chuckeld as he gave him a light shove towards the door as he stood up and snatched his towel. MJ left the dormitory and Jinjin went about taking a shower, he looked for some food but found none in the fridge, it took too much time to actually cook something and he was concerned to where Rocky was so he decided to postpone eating lunch. The boy tended to keep to himself and he knew through his own experience that keeping the emotions bottled up was not good. He kept his body busy trying to keep Rocky of his mind. A few moments later he was already at the company and went straight to the studio where he saw Bin, Eunwoo and MJ dance practicing… Rocky didn’t seem to be around. He saw one of their managers coming out of the vocal training room and walked towards him.

“Is Rocky in there?” Jinjin asked the manager casually, the manager just shook his head. “Have you seen Rocky around?” The manager seemed to be thinking for a few seconds before he shook his head and told him that he haven’t seen him that day. Jinjin bowed and took his leave before the manager would notice the concern in his eyes.

This time Jinjin was more prepared as he took out his phone and messaged the younger boy. “Where are you?” as soon as he sent it, a voice called out to him.

“Jinjin-hyung, what are you doing out here?” Sanha called out which made Jinjin look up at the voice. Sanha was running towards him and was just outside the dance practice room. “Let’s go?” The maknae asked as he shoved open the door waiting for his hyung. Jinjin followed the youngest to the dance practice room looking around once more silently hoping that Rocky was in the room and he just didn’t noticed it from the outside. 

“Has any of you seen Rocky?” Jinjin finally asked as the other three members took a break from dancing. Eunwoo looked thoughtful for a moment then shook his head. MJ shrugged knowing full well that he first thought Rocky was at the studio.

“Doesn’t he have class?” Bin asked then he spied Sanha behind Jinjin.

“Nope, Rocky-hyung doesn’t have class today.” Sanha answered the confused look that Bin gave him. “Let’s practice?”

The others got to their positions and before the music started Jinjin felt his phone vibrate and he quickly took it out.

“I tried to run as much as I could.” Was Rocky’s reply. Jinjin quickly replied “Where are you? I’ll come get you”

The others stared at Jinjin as the leader’s concerned face was plastered on his phone. He didn’t notice the members stare as he started to head for the door.

“Jinwoo-ya… Is something wrong?” MJ shouted as he noticed that the younger was too engrossed in what was happening to notice what was around him.

“huh… oh… Yah, nothing’s wrong, I’m just gonna go get Rocky” Jinjin said giving a small smile and a wave as he closed the door to the studio. Eunwoo and Sanha just shrugged and went back to their position while MJ and Bin looked at each other before Bin shrugged and they continued on what they were doing.

“I don’t know” was the reply Jinjin got from the younger, he tried calling but the call was declined. So he instead messaged again “Give me the closest address to where you are… or landmarks… I’m coming to get you”

“Why? I need to run more”

“Wait for me to get there or I am gonna get angry”

It took a few moments before a reply was sent by Rocky sending him an address that was pretty far off from where he was. Judging from the address Rocky must have ran since the morning, he hailed a taxi which took him more than half an hour to arrive at the destination.

“I’m gonna continue running” A message popped up while Jinjin was still in the cab

“Just wait. I’m almost there”

“I can’t, I need to run more”

“Park Minhyuk! stay put. I’m coming to you” A few more moments before he received a reply.

“Ok…”

Jinjin arrived at the address he was given and he saw Rocky sitting on the side of an alley holding his head between his legs. His shirt was soaked with sweat and even from afar Jinjin could tell that his hair was also wet with sweat. He didn’t know what Rocky was going through, why he was being like this but one thing he knew was that it hurt him to see the younger so over the edge… And what was worse was that he couldn’t seem to be of any help to him at all. Jinjin went towards the younger boy and crouched in front of the younger boy who was breathing heavily. He placed his hand on Rocky’s hair lightly caressing the wet locks on his fingertips. Rocky reacted quickly trying to push off whoever was touching him but stopped just as quickly as he saw his leader in front of him giving him a soft smile.

“Hey, I’m here now...” Jinjin said with a soft smile on his lips. He took note that Rocky’s eyes was red though there was no tear streaks on his cheeks but he could tell that the younger had just been in one of the worst day he could have had. Rocky gave him a light smile, even with his eyes all puffed up and red and his lips a bit pale the young boy still looked very handsome.

“I tried running all morning hyung… it helps to forget… but when I stop it all comes back… I can’t stop running…” Rocky said with a light whisper.

“Then maybe it’s time to start facing it than running away from it, yeah?” Jinjin said with a soft voice. He didn’t know what Rocky was trying to run away from and he knew for a fact that Rocky was not the type to tell him what it was either. Rocky tried to stand up but lost his balance, luckily Jinjin was ready for it so he was able to let Rocky lean on him before he could fall down.

“Aish… What will I do with you” Jinjin mumbled as he helped Rocky up. Rocky tried to stand by himself but Jinjin noticed that he seemed to be limping slightly. With how long he was running, it was more than likely that he hurt himself. Rocky almost fell down again as he lost Jinjin’s support, Jinjin anticipating it catches him before he could fall. “Lean on me for now, let’s go find something to eat, I haven’t had lunch yet and I’m sure you haven’t either”

“But I wanna run more” Rocky whined completely out of characteristic of him but at the same time Jinjin found it unbearably cute.

“Park Minhyuk! Stop being a baby and listen to me for once! I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m angry and I am concerned about you! If you won’t tell me your problem then suck it up and just follow me! We are going to eat lunch and I’m going take you home and take care of you because you apparently can’t do it yourself.” Jinjin said in a voice that Rocky had the first time hearing. “I won’t let you hurt yourself while I’m around so do me a favor and listen to me”

Rocky fell silent and grunted as he let Jinjin helped him walk over to a nearby restaurant. The older helped him sit down at his place and Jinjin sat opposite him, writing his order in a piece of paper that the waitress, who was carrying two glasses of water to their table, took and bowed. Rocky kept silent and Jinjin looked a bit upset, he didn’t mean to show that he was angry.

“Look, I get it your upset about something. When I told you running helped me I didn’t mean running away from the problem helped me, it meant clearing my mind did. If you really can’t clear your mind then talk. Talking helps, you know you can trust me right? So why don’t you talk to me?”

“I can’t talk about it with you…” Rocky said in a small voice. Jinjin kept the distaste in his face from showing, he was actually getting better at it. He thought he was close enough with Rocky to be his confidante, with how much he shared with him even if there were awkward moments they both knew a lot about each other. 

“Well it’s best to talk about it to someone… Like Bin…” Jinjin felt a sour taste in his mouth as he said it. He knew that he shouldn’t feel jealous about it. Bin and Rocky had been friends close to 7 years now so their bond was surely much stronger than the one he and Rocky had, but it still left a bad taste in his mouth to admit that there were something about Rocky that only Bin could know and help and that Jinjin was just a hyung and not someone worth talking his problems to.

Rocky just nodded to what Jinjin said. The food arrived and they ate silently, it was apparent that Rocky didn’t have the appetite but at the very least he was eating and that was what mattered. Jinjin paid for the food and they left the restaurant with Jinjin hailing a cab.

“I still need to…” Rocky stopped as Jinjin gave him a look that brooked any arguments or selfishness that he wanted to do. The cab ride home was silent and uneventful with only Jinjin messaging their manager that Rocky needed a few days to rest and messaging the others to bring dinner when they get home later that night. They arrived at their apartment a little past 4 and Jinjin helped Rocky down the cab. He crouched in front of Rocky motioning for the younger to get on his back so he could give him a piggyback ride. 

“I can walk by myself hyung…”

“We don’t want to hurt your cute little ankle again, do we?” Jinjin said with a smile then in a more serious tone. “Just listen to me and come here.”

Rocky gave up and wrapped his arms around his leader and laid his body on Jinjin’s back. Jinjin blushed slightly as he held Rocky’s bum as he stood up, luckily the object of his embarrassment was behind him and not in front of him. He could feel Rocky’s heat in his back, the younger’s breath hitching and tickling his nape making him blush more. Luckily there was no accidents or embarrassing moments on the trip up to their room. 

When they were in front of their dorm, Rocky was about to come down when Jinjin just told him to get the keys from his pockets. Jinjin felt a bit embarrassed as Rocky groped around his chest pocket to get the key that was there. He closed the door as they got in and proceeded to the couch where he set Rocky down. He took off Rocky’s shoes and socks and gave a slight wince as he noticed that Rocky’s ankle was swollen, a slight blue tinge lining just below his ankle bone. He lightly pushed on it eliciting a slight wince of pain from Rocky. Luckily it seemed to be just a regular strained muscle, since Rocky was still able to rotate it without much pain and it only really hurt when the inflamed area was pressed. 

“It’s better for you to rest a few days…. And no running” Jinjin said strictly. “I’m gonna go get some towel and water that you can use to wipe yourself off.”

“I can just take a shower” Rocky said with a slight grimace as he tried putting pressure on his foot. It seemed that now that his foot had some time to rest he could feel how badly he ruined it.

“It’s better if you don’t, your sweat is already dried up and your body’s still a bit warm, not to mention your ankle is gonna be a pain.” Jinjin talked as he fetched a towel and a basin of water that he put in front of Rocky. Rocky shrugged off his shirt, Jinjin stared at the youngers bare well-toned body, the younger had a slimmer build than him but his muscles was well proportioned and it took a lot of Jinjin’s self-restraint to look away from the food that was in front of him… He quickly went to fridge to get some ice to put into the icepack as Rocky started wiping off his bare arms, chest and abs. Jinjin concentrated on getting the icepack and towel to wrap it rather than drooling at Rocky’s body which he had found very sexy these past few days.

He helped Rocky to the bedroom and laid him down on MJ’s bed. Jinjin’s bed was against the wall and would take too much effort for Rocky so he opted to have Rocky on MJ’s bed instead. Jinjin felt a bit unsure as he looked at Rocky’s passive face who was just looking at Jinjin without a change of expression. 

“You want to talk about it?” Jinjin asked  
“No”

“Want me to call Bin?” Jinjin said biting his lip slightly waiting for Rocky to answer. It took a few moments before Rocky nodded his head which inadvertently made Jinjin angry, luckily he was expecting Rocky’s answer so he was able to keep his face neutral. Jinjin dialed Bin’s number taking notice that Rocky looked a bit uncomfortable but decided that it was better for Rocky to talk to someone than for him to keep it all to himself.

“Hyung?” Bin answered on the third ring.  
“Binnie, I have a favor to ask”  
“Sure, what is it hyung?”  
“Rocky is having some trouble, could you talk to him? He isn’t keen on me talking to him about it.”

Jinjin heard a small sigh in the other end of the line, Rocky was still staring at Jinjin without a change of expression.

“I figured this might happen”  
“You know what’s wrong with him?”  
“Yeah, just… let me talk to him hyung.”

“Ok” Jinjin said as he gave his phone to Rocky noticing that the younger was sporting a serious face. “Talk to him alright? I’ll give you some privacy” Jinjin said to which Rocky just nodded. Jinjin left the room and cleaned up the basin and the wet towel. He left the wrapped icepack in the bedroom with Rocky. He took his time cleaning up the living room and waited for a few minutes.

Jinjin stopped outside the room to listen if Rocky and Bin had stopped talking to each other… There was no longer any sound of anyone talking but he could hear Rocky’s light whimpering. He opened the door to the bedroom and saw Rocky lying down on the bed hugging Jinjin’s pillow, the phone opened beside the younger showing Jinjin’s wallpaper which was of him and Rocky playing around in the mirror with Bin slightly to the side with only half of his face on the picture. Jinjin took his phone from the bed and noticed that Rocky was still awake his eyes glued to the phone but stopped staring at it as soon as Jinjin took it.

“You feeling better?”

“Yes… and no” Rocky said with a sigh. “Thanks for helping me hyung, not just now but also this morning. I was really at my worst and you helped me out instead of you being asleep”

“Hey, I’m your hyung, your great leader…” Jinjin bit his lips, Rocky gave a small chuckle which made Jinjin smile a little “It’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… friends…” Rocky said with a wistful smile. Jinjin wondered at that moment if what Rocky was having trouble with was with him and Bin just being friends but stopped himself and chased the thought away. Whatever the two of them had that was their business and he shouldn’t meddle with it. Jinjin gave Rocky a fleeting smile as he helped get the younger more comfortable with his foot. Jinjin wrapping it with the ice-pack.

“Now get some rest, the others should be home soon and I’m sure you won’t be able to rest properly once MJ-hyung and Sanha gets home.” Jinjin joked which Rocky laughed to. Jinjin stayed in the room until Rocky fell asleep, as he came out of the bedroom it was also the exact moment the others arrived from the studio.


	2. Igneous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight teen content...
> 
> Jinjin needs to keep Rocky at home but Rocky wants to run

March 2016

“hyung where’s Rocky?” Bin asked as he opened the door and was removing his shoes in the foyer before entering.

“In the room, sleeping” Jinjin answered off-handedly acting as though it didn’t matter to him really. Sanha who was just behind Bin gave him a confused look.

“Why what happened to Rocky-hyung?” Sanha asked as he and MJ followed Bin inside also removing their shoes in the foyer.

“He hurt his foot” was all Jinjin replied as he sat on one of the coaches in front of the TV.

“Oh... so he’ll be sleeping in my bed then? Or yours?” MJ asked looking at Jinjin with a sly smirk and a slightly drawling voice that seemed to be mocking him. Bin looked curiously at the exchange and pouted slightly, wondering if there was a meaning between the exchange or MJ-hyung was just annoying the younger as always.

“Wouldn’t it be much easier if he sleeps in your bed MJ-hyung?” A new voice belonging to who Bin would say as “the most handsome boy in korea” asked from where they came from. Bin hurriedly took the take out food that was on eunwoo’s hand as the older had a hard time balancing the food while taking off his shoes.”

“Hmmm...” MJ hummed as he stared at the exchange and went to the fridge and shove Sanha away as he took the water bottle from the younger’s hand, acting as if the whole question was now irrelevant to him.

“Ya~“ Sanha shouted out.

“Ya~ Did you just ya to me?” MJ said to Sanha and Sanha quickly ran behind eunwoo trying to use the older as a shield from MJ’s playful wrath. Which just ended with Bin holding MJ in place by the waist without much effort and Sanha saying sorry with a flippant smile behind eunwoo. Eunwoo looked resigned to the situation, Jinjin just chuckled at all the fiasco... it was a normal night at the dorm except for the absence of Rocky sitting beside Jinwoo with a slightly unamused smile.

———

Rocky had to switch beds because he had trouble getting in his. True to MJ’s words he proposed to change with him while he's hurt - meaning Jinjin would have to sleep beside the younger rapper. Both Rocky and Jinjin didn’t say anything about it but Jinjin could feel that the younger seemed to be awkward with the set up. He looked like he wanted to protest but Bin saying that it was the best for the time being and it was fine made him shut up. Both MJ and Jinjin looked at each other for a second before shrugging and let it slide.

Jinjin felt a bit unsettled sleeping beside Rocky, thinking back this was actually the first time they slept beside each other. In the last dorm Rocky would usually sleep in the living room when the last space was near Jinwoo, he didn’t know if it was intentional or not but it made him feel bad. An hour passed and he heard Rocky snore a little it seemed like he was sleeping deeply. Jinjin turned to look at him, he was well aware that Rocky was good looking but it was the first time he noticed that though Rocky didn’t have a defined jawline, his cheekbones were high and his eyes had little creases in the side that made him look serious. He bit his lips, unsure as to why his heart is beating much faster than normal. It seemed like he was getting more and more attached to Rocky, with this thoughts in his mind he fell asleep.

Rocky woke up earlier than usual, probably because he slept much earlier than usual. It took him a few seconds before he remembered why he was in someone else bed. His ankle was still hurting, but he could manage it. His eyes turned to his left, Jinjin was sleeping peacefully, facing his direction, holding a pillow and hugging it. Jinjin looked like a peaceful baby, noted that he did look like a child even when awake. Rocky stared at the elders sleeping face, his face was very clear much clearer than his or bin’s and even eunwoo’s. There was not a pimple or a blemish on his skin, his prominent nose looked great if you actually took the time to appreciate it. These were all features that Rocky was well aware of... after all he had observed the older more than he would like to admit. From his swag to his fashion statement to his dance style and even rap style. Butterflies appeared in the younger's stomach he was now hyper-aware that unknowingly he have observed Jinjin a lot more than he thought and what Bin told him seemed to be starting to fall into place... this made him smile.

Rocky winced slightly as he accidentally put pressure on his foot remembering his stupidity the day before. He had been so wrapped up in his own feelings that he forgot that he was supposed to be the rock of the group. Hopefully Jinjin didn’t tell anyone from the group, not even Bin as to how stupid he had acted. Remembering the reason it all started made him want to cry again and start crying but seeing Jinjin's sleeping face made him feel guilty to how much worry he must have given his leader, he was well aware that Jinjin wasn’t a perfect leader, he was a crybaby, he was slow, he would empathize with the team too much that sometimes his emotions take over, he was also the youngest in his family and even his past dance troop so he was used to being cuddled and protected. Now though, Jinjin was trying his best to keep them in line and miserably failing at it. Jinjin tried to act tough and reprimand them but that attitude only lasted a week or two before the older had given up because he was the one who got hurt instead when he saw the members crestfallen faces.

Rocky in particular experienced it once, Jinjin gave him and Sanha a disappointed look when he found out that they played hooky saying that they had class but was really just playing around at a PC bang, it was just one day off the hook. Jinjin didn’t get angry at them or anything he just looked disappointed, Rocky didn’t know how he felt at that time but he felt really bad. He wanted Jinjin to get mad at them or even throw a fit, or maybe even cry and say something about him giving up being leader or something mushy and they would hug him and make him feel better and he would go back to how he was.

*  
“If you go anywhere at least tell eunwoo or bin or even MJ-hyung” It was all Jinjin said pointedly looking at sanha when he said eunwoo and at rocky when he said bin, his face trying to hide his disappointment but failing at it. Sanha looked confused for a second because he also didn’t seem to have expected that reaction. Jinjin was more flippant or at that time he was in his “strict leader” stage so the reaction was definitely something they hadn’t anticipated. Jinjin had called out to MJ and eunwoo that night saying that they were eating out and Bin will be taking care of the two maknae.

Rocky went to the shared room and was changing his clothes when he heard Bin in the doorway asking “what was that about? Did the two of you do anything to jinjin-hyung? He was really worried”

Both Rocky and Sanha was silent at the question... it was Sanha who answered first “Jinjin-hyung was just being an idiot”

“it was our fault just because you don’t respect Jinjin-hyung and prefers eunwoo-hyung as leader doesn’t mean you should say he’s an idiot” before Rocky could stop himself he coldly berated Sanha.

“Rocky!” Bin said shocked at the youngers words “you should have looked at Sanha first before you said anything” At Bin’s words Rocky looked at Sanha who was silently taking clothes from his bag. He was biting his quivering lips, he wasn’t crying but he was definitely getting there, it seemed that Jinjin’s disappointed look had also affected the youngest but being the cheeky kid that he was, he probably held it in.

“Sorry...” Rocky said silently, he was too absorbed in his feelings that he didn’t notice Sanha being in the same predicament. He had always looked up to Jinjin-hyung... they had a lot in common... swag, fashion, dancing, rapping and even preferring the same food and pets... he had never imagined that Jinjin-hyung would look at him with such disappointment and it was the single most disgusting feeling he felt.

“You’re not the only one who likes Jinjin-hyung you know...” Bin said as Sanha left the room with his clothes probably going to the bathroom to take a shower. “He might idolize eunwoo like how you idolize jinjin-hyung but you know... it’s only Jinjin-hyung who can calm him down when he gets in one of his tantrums, he knows he’s jinjin’s baby and i’m sure he’s hurting as much as you are right now...”

“I don’t idolize Jinjin-hyung...” Rocky said with a scowl on his face. “I idolize you”

Bin gave him a look with one eyebrow arched quizzically “you love me and you idolize jinjin-hyung... get your facts straight”

Rocky just gave him a glare to which Bin laughed.  
*

Ever since that incident Jinjin had stopped trying to know where they were all the time. So he was actually very surprised the day before when Jinjin had suddenly asked him where he was, given that it was in the wee hours of the morning, it was still a sign that Jinjin cared for their well being. Nonetheless, he stopped trying to be the stern older brother. He would just do what he was told by the company just did his job as leader, he stopped trying to stop their mess and instead would just silently clean up afterwards, Rocky would help him sometimes, but when eunwoo or MJ helps out he usually just leaves them to it. Sanha and Rocky had a silent agreement never to give Jinjin a reason to give them that look of disappointment again. Sanha went back to being passive aggressive with Jinjin, and Rocky went back to being just beside Jinjin. He could tell that Jinjin-hyung and his friendship/relationship had stagnated he didn’t know why but it did. 

Rocky moved slowly to his side, facing his leader, remembering the reason why he was out of his mind the day before. He wished he could hug Jinjin, wished they could go back to before he knew that he disappointed his leader. He knew it was a bad idea to hug the leader so he contented himself with looking at the leaders face and it was enough to erase all the bad thoughts. Within minutes he had closed his eyes and was back in the embrace of sleep

———

Jinjin frowned as light trickled into his eyelids, waking him up slowly. He put a hand up to cover his face from the light and saw MJ by the window giving him a sly grin to which he replied with a frown. MJ gave a silent mocking laugh as he took his bag and motioned that he was gonna go, closing the door silently behind him. Jinjin stretched his arms and body as the door clicked shut. He looked over at the clock beside him, it was 8:47AM. The room was pretty much devoid of noise aside from the soft breathing beside him, that must mean that Sanha had already left earlier than MJ in the bedroom. He rolled over the bed expecting Rocky to be sleeping on his back like his usual sleeping position in the morning, Rocky was a pretty active sleeper, but maybe due to his leg he couldn’t move well enough that was why he was sleeping in the same position as last night, Jinjin looked over at the younger his lips forming into a very warm smile, unnoticed by the person who was doing it. Rocky was sleeping peacefully that he felt bad about waking up the boy.

Contemplating if he should wake up the sleeping boy, Jinjin put his hand on the younger’s hand that was closest to him, shaking it slowly but firmly. The younger frowned and made a small noise that sounded like a whispered complaint to which Jinjin chuckled to, it was a nice sound, one that an awake Rocky would probably never do. It took roughly 10 seconds before the frown was gone and his breathing went back to its sleeping rhythm. Jinjin decided that few more minutes of sleep won’t hurt the younger since he was to rest anyway. Jinjin took back his hand from Rocky’s but the younger’s reaction was different than he expected. The younger made a soft complaint again this time a little bit louder and rougher, it was accompanied by Rocky pulling the hand that was on his hand. Intertwining his fingers with Jinjin’s and pulling it closer to his lips. Jinjin could feel Rocky’s warm breath caressing his knuckles, Rocky’s hand was smaller than Jinjin but their fingers seemed to perfectly fit each other just fine. Jinjin didn’t know what to do at that moment. His heart was beating fast, it was the first time he felt it, sure he found Rocky good looking but it was the same as finding eunwoo good looking, there was nothing special to it. He was however clearly weirdly anticipating the next breath that would caress his knuckles. Deciding that this was weird enough as it is he tried pulling his hand again. Rocky responded more aggressively this time with a more aggressive grunt and a harder pull his hand was in between Rocky’s hand and the bed, Jinjin was hyper aware that Rocky was practically breathing on his whole hand now. Sleeping Rocky seemed to be very content with this because there was a contented smile on his sleeping face as if he just won a game of tag and he was holding the price.

Jinjin was a statue at that moment, he didn’t know if he should wake up the sleeping boy or if the boy was actually awake and was pranking him. Deciding that he would have to say something to see if the boy was really awake.

"You are such a sleepy head today. Wake up, we need to make sure your ankle is fine." Jinjin said with another wriggle of his hand. The younger gave a cute annoyed grunt, the hand that was still holding Jinjin’s hand moving closer to Rocky’s chest. His eyes scrunching up as Rocky finally seemed to be awake. The other hand not holding Jinjin was rubbing his sleeping eyes awake. His eyes fluttered open, sweet brown eyes looking up at Jinjin, the younger seemed to still be in dreamland as he gave Jinjin a sweet smile. He didn’t let go of the older boys hand as he groggily sat up looking like a lost wolf. He looked around him for a bit and it seems the younger had finally took in his surrounding and he was now awake. His eyes stopped at his hand still grabbing the older boys hand. 

“Are you awake now?” Jinjin asked again and the younger nodded quickly letting go of the older boys hand. Rocky could still feel the heat that was jinwoo’s hand prickling his skin where their hands held. Jinwoo himself could still feel the prickling heat Rocky’s breath made on the skin of his knuckles. Pushing all of his weird thoughts away Jinjin went to back to the task at hand right now, which was taking care of Rocky “You feeling better?”

Rocky gave him a confused look wondering what he meant by that... did he mean the ankle or the reason he cried like a baby who just got his candy stolen. Jinjin gave him a soft smile knowingly, Rocky knew what Jinjin meant now and he looked at his hand and also gave jinjin a soft smile “yah i feel better.”

“That’s good... your foot?” Jinjin said glancing at the foot resting in a pillow. Rocky peeled his eyes away from his hands and looked at his foot. He tried moving it and winced slightly as the pressure in pulling it to the inside of his legs made the sprain hurt.

"The swelling has subsided, unlike yesterday Can you walk on it?"

Rocky tried to stand up. He was okay for a moment, then his face looked hurt. Jinjin slightly anticipating it held his hand and wrapped it around his neck. Helping Rocky by his side, Jinjin gave a thoughtful hummm and said “As I thought I think you need to stay home today”

But hyung, I want to go to the studio and practice.” Jinjin looked thoughtful for a moment, he didn’t seem to like the idea of Rocky going to the studio to practice. But he knew the younger would be adamant about it so he needed to give the younger boy an incentive to make him stay.

"Let’s have you take a shower first” Jinjin finally said, he needed to stall for time and think up of an idea to persuade the younger to stay home today. He was slow at things he do and this was one of those times. He knew how hard headed Rocky could be when he wanted something, he may go about being subtle about it but rarely would the younger give up. 

“Come on I’ll help you out” He helped the younger to the shower room as he took some of Rocky’s clothes and a towel. Jinjin then led the other as he opened the door and helped the younger out to the living room and towards the bathroom. Rocky wincing every few steps but trying to stifle the sound, the older looked concernedly at the younger. 

Rocky thought that maybe the older felt responsible for the injury, because it was his suggestion that he ended up like this. Knowing the older that was probably his reason why he was adamant on helping the younger. However, knowing Jinjin he would probably help any one of the members if one of them got into an accident even if it wasn’t his fault. Jinjin was soft like that. Without noticing the two of them were already at the bathroom, Rocky leaning on the sink while Jinjin was still holding his one hand for balance. Jinjin looked torn and Rocky blushed lightly as he thought that maybe Jinjin was thinking of helping him shower. Jinjin was still looking at him with a concerned face and the older didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving him alone. “I can do it alone hyung.”

“Huh?” Jinjin snapped out of his reverie, he was still thinking of ways to get Rocky to stay at the dorm instead of going to the studio that he hadn’t noticed they were already in the bathroom. “Oh, okay, just call out to me when your done, I’ll just be on the living room.”

Rocky took his shower as Jinjin left leaving a pair of clothes and towel in the rack. Rocky tried not to put much pressure in his right foot as much as possible but because of the wet floor he slipped a few times which hurt however he was not gonna be a baby and ask his hyung to give him a bath. His face flushed as he thought of this idea. ‘Ugh... I really am screwed’

He went out of the shower and took the towel drying himself off the droplets of water on his body but he just couldn’t reach his legs so he gave up trying to dry those, he probably won’t be able to wear his pants this way either he needed to get to their room to change. He took the clothing that Jinjin had left in the rack and noticed that both were pants. There was no shirt nor an underwear among these... was this Jinjin’s way of punishing him? 

‘He was screwed, definitely so screwed.... badly’ he needed to get out of the room but he was going to be naked underneath the towel... what if... he sported something hard... ‘don’t think about it, don’t think about that’ he could try to get past the living room to their bedroom without alerting Jinjin, it was hard but not impossible.

Rocky tightened the towel on his hips and grabbed his pants, his dirty clothes already on the hamper. He slowly opened the door and peeked to see if his hyung was outside, the coast was clear. He slowly and lightly left the room holding the wince that was escaping his mouth when he put pressure on his foot. He silently closed the door of the bathroom and as he heard the click of the door.

“What are you doing?” A voice asked behind him. He looked back and saw An unamused Jinjin who was not wearing any top and a towel slung on his shoulder, his pajama was slung low on his hips and his hair still in that bed hair he sported awhile ago, The older walked towards him and he felt like a deer in the headlights. “I thought I told you to call me if you need any help and when your done”

“Uhm... you didn’t bring me underwear or a shirt.” Rocky answered looking for a reason not to agree to Jinjin’s help but not finding any at the current moment his mind was on.

“Oh... sorry, didn’t notice” Jinjin answered as he casually helped Rocky out. Pulling Rocky’s hand over his shoulder and wrapping his toned arms around Rocky’s waist. Rocky’s skin was tingling, he was very sensitive right now, especially having just taken a warm shower and now his obsession was practically wrapping his naked body around him. He knew Jinjin was just helping him out... he had the urge to run right now...

“I need to run” Rocky blurted out.

“What are you saying?” Jinjin asked quickly as if the younger just said something incredibly stupid, but to Rocky right now running was a great idea. Jinjin has said it himself that running helps in clearing the mind.. and he needs to clear his mind right now.

“I’m going to run” Rocky said in a more serious tone his face belonging to the Rocky that Jinjin was most acquainted with. The serious and level headed Park Minhyuk the Rocky that was adamant and passionate and serious, but what he was saying and the decision he came up to was definitely not what that Park Minhyuk would do.

“Do you need to talk to Bin?” Jinjin asked him concerned. The older had already let go of his hold in the younger boys waist but the heat still lingered, prickling the younger, enticing him yet also denying him. Rocky didn’t know why Jinjin had come up with the idea of calling Bin but he was the leader so he must have a reason.

Jinjin was panicking inside, he didn’t know what triggered the younger boys desire to run, one moment he was taking a shower and when Jinjin helped him the younger looked uncomfortable with his touches. Was it because of him? Was Jinjin the cause of this distress? It seemed like it, but he couldn’t remember why, he didn’t think it was because of him the first time. Bin was able to help him then and now Jinjin obviously couldn’t help because he might actually be the cause. So Bin should be able to help him now right?

“Why” Rocky asked.

“Why? He can help” Jinjin said and Rocky just nodded to the leaders answer. Jinjin felt relieved, jealous but relieved. He started to put his hand around the others waist again...

“I can go to the room myself hyung” Rocky said stiffly, it was bad enough his hyung had seen him cry and be stupid he didn’t also need to see him get a hard on from his touch or find out he was lusting after his hyung. He was sure Jinjin was disappointed at him with how sissy he had become in these past two days, he didn’t need to add his sexuality into the mix. He was sure that if that came out his hyung would be unable to hide his disappointment and he couldn’t live with himself if he saw that face again. He worked really hard to be the most reliable member it was bad enough he was found to be a sissy yesterday luckily his hyung was a crybaby himself so it wasn’t enough to earn him a disappointed look.

Jinjin let him lumber to the room by himself but Jinwoo was a constant presence around him. He could feel Jinjin’s warmth close to his naked skin, Jinjin's hand was around him like a basketball player guarding an opponent, the heat from Jinwoo either it was real or imaginary Rocky was hyper aware of it.

Rocky sat on the bed his whole body sensitive, feeling every tingle in the areas where jinwoo had touched him and even on the areas that his hands was protecting from... he just took a shower but he felt hot and definitely aroused it was lucky enough that he had the two pants to cover his arousal.

"Hey Binnie, can you talk to him again?" Jinjin's concerned voice was floating into his ear. It sounded really raspy and sexy to his blood addled brain right, it did not help that Jinjin was whispering into the phone. What is wrong with him, he had totally gone crazy for his leader... Why did Jinwoo had to have that sexy raspy guttural voice and when he whispers.

"Hey Rocky, here" Jinjin said handing him the phone. Rocky almost lost it right then, all his blood had probably both gone down and above on both his head and he literally was dying inside. 

The scene was completely an innocent scene for Jinjin. him handing his phone to one of his closest friend whispering his name because he didn't know how to act in the situation and felt bad because it might be because of him.

For Rocky right now the scene was much much more mature much more erotic and a pre-cursor to a lot of things. He knew that he was seeing things in a rose colored glasses right now. He was a 18 yr old boy in korean age but 17 yrs old in international age. He was a hormonal teenage boy who' life was dancing and training and now his obsession was in front of him.

What Rocky sees is Jinwoo's well toned chest, rippled arms, broad shoulders and well defined six-pack. His huge hands holding his phone towards him with his concerned face looking so sexy at the moment his mouth whispering his name. The voice that came out of it was a raspy guttural whisper to his ears, his hair all messed up yet looked so great at that moment. Rocky was on the bed his well defined body also ready for the next action, he might be slimmer than the older and has less defined chest but he had abs too. This could totally happen right? If he just hold unto Jinjin's hand and moan his leaders name and pull him into a kiss... Surely his leader would reciprocate, he was a hot guy too surely Jinjin would feel aroused too if he pulled him in and just take each other right here. Rocky could already imagine what would happen to the two of them in this bed and even with a busted foot he was sure he can make do with it... A taste he wanted a taste of it... Knowing Jinjin if Rocky said it would help him he would go through with it, if it made him feel better... his leader was kind, kind enough that if he used that kindness he can get what he want... Just a taste and Jinjin would be willing to help him and maybe he can have it again and again and again until his leader was his and his alone, then maybe Jinjin would love him and not be disappointed in him... His arousal was so hard right now that he was sure if his pants wasn't bundled above it, it would become a tent...

"Rocky are you there" A voice from the line said stopping his thoughts momentarily enough for him to take Jinjin's phone. 

Jinjin quickly turned around and ran out locking the door behind him when he heard Rocky called him out to lock it. Jinjin quickly went into the shower and blasted the water into the coldest it can go... He huffed as he bowed his head putting both his hands in front of him, letting the cold water stream down on him. What the heck was that look... the scene might have been innocent but Jinjin felt it, there was hunger and tension in the air for that few seconds that they locked eyes. He didn't know if Rocky was aware of it but Jinjin felt like he was devoured in by Rocky, he knew he was attracted to Rocky but not something he would call lust or love... just simple appreciation.. but that moment it felt like if he let his guard down one more second he would be swept up into a wild current that he was definitely not ready for. He didn't know where it came from, if he will be honest with himself it felt like Minhyuk was beckoning him with his stare wanted to ravage him and use him in all the ways possible like nothing else mattered but taking him... as if Minhyuk did not care about their friendship, what they had or even what he want, his stare felt so hot that it was searing his skin even until now... it felt like Minhyuk didn't care if he had to destroy everything and use him just to get him and never let go... He knew it was absurd the very idea was absurd... Rocky liked glaring at people it was probably just one of those normal glares that he does but Jinjin could still feel his skin searing as if he had literally been burned by the sun. Rocky may seem like the tough type but he was definitely sweet there was no way what Jinjin saw and felt in that few seconds was the real Minhyuk... It was getting hard to breathe and his skin still felt so hot that it took almost half an hour for him to finally turn off the cold shower.


	3. Tanzanite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rocky learns to be content

March 2016

Rocky's view

"Rocky hey, what happened" Bin asked over the phone. Rocky was silent as Jinjin locked and closed the door behind him. His erection had not yet subsided and the heat he was feeling on his body was still emanating from him. He could still feel Jinjin's presence... "I know you're there I heard you tell hyung to lock the door... don't do anything stupid"

"Hyung I don't think I can do this anymore..."

"Why?! What happened?" Bin sounded concerned over the phone.

"He helped me get to the room from the bathroom..."

"okay..."

"We were half-naked..."

"okay..."

"He was hugging me..."

"okay..."

"I wanted to kiss him..."

"Huh...?!"

"I wanted to kiss him! take him! do all things to him!"

"..."

"I wanted to ravish him! I wanted to have HOT STEAMY CRAZY SEX with him"

"... So you want him to take your ass?"

"What makes you think I'd be the bottom?!"

"So you weren't?"

"..."

"I think you don't know what you want yourself..."

"... I wouldn't say no..."

"So you don't mind it either way?"

"that's not the point!"

He heard a hearty laugh from the other line... He knew that talking to Bin was not gonna help him in this predicament but hyung recommended it and if hyung wanted him to dance with the Catdevil then he will.

"I don't understand how you got to the point that you want to kiss him and have sex with him just because you were both half naked and hugging"

"..."

"Kiss maybe I would understand but jumping to sex is..."

"What you never thought of having sex with Eunwoo-hyung?"

"...No... Maybe your just one horny virgin kid"

"and you're not?"

"...No..."

Rocky already knew he won the argument so he stopped talking... contemplating... what was he going to do, he can't be like this, always thinking about Jinjin in different ways and stuff

"I think... the best thing is for us to be content" Bin finally said over the line

"Hyung... I was thinking at that moment that I should just take him, tell him it would make me feel better if he would have sex with me, make him feel sorry for me... if it didn't work force him and say that it was the only way to make me feel better and I'd say sorry and cry and make him forgive me then do it all over again until he falls in love with me"

"thats..."

"It's disgusting! I didn't care about how he would feel I just want him to like me so bad that I'd do anything to get him even if I have to cheat my way into it! He's kind and he's gullible, he wouldn't be able to say no to me and he wouldn't be able to hate me so much if I say sorry because that's how he is! I wanted to take advantage of him."

"Why didn't you?"

Rocky's jaw dropped at that question... of course he couldn't, how could he?

"Because I love him of course! But it still crossed my mind and it was so enticing and I know it would work because it's me who's asking"

"Even if he looks at you with disappointment?"

Rocky stopped at that question, that's right at the back of his mind... did he really stop because he love him or because he didn't want to see his disappointed face if he was to take it all...

"Hyung..."

"Look... we aren't even sure if he really is a homophobe it only happened once and it was with a guy he barely knew..."

"If it is true and he looked at me that way... It would be much more painful... because he knows me!"

"It could be different because he knows you!"

Rocky kept silent... he knew that this conversation was going nowhere so it was better if they just stopped talking about it.

"Look... We can't be greedy... we just have to get what we can... grab what is offered unless we take the guts to tell them..."

"Why don't you tell him then?"

"because I'm older and stronger than you.."

a scoff from Rocky's line

"and he is too busy to notice me..."

"Still not a reason..."

"... Just be content with what you have unless you're ready to risk it all in a one for all... that's all I can advice you right now."

"Yah thanks hyung... I'll try..."

"Jinjin cares for you Hyuk so I'm sure you're gonna get more than I'm ever going to get..."

"thanks hyung..."

The line went dead as Rocky put the phone down in the bed. He sighed loudly... Bin was right he was being greedy... Looking at Jinjin-hyungs face while the older was sleeping for a week straight and sometimes giving the older light kisses on the cheeks while he was asleep was already more than Bin could ever get since Eunwoo was a light sleeper. There were times that Jinjin-hyung would stir when he kisses his cheek but the hyung was slow enough that he can escape if ever he does wake up. Bin was right, he was being greedy.

\-------

Jinjin's view

Jinjin's hair was dripping water on his face as he stared at the mirror, he needed to snap out of it... Rocky was probably already done talking to Bin and had enough time to change his clothes. He should forget what he think he saw in Rocky's eyes... he was too conceited if he actually believed that. The members always bullies him about his face so obviously it was just his imagination.

He walked out of the bathroom with only a towel on his hips and saw that Rocky was in one of the couches already wearing a white shirt and what seemed to be jogging pants and a jacket slung on the back of the couch. He looked ready to leave for the studio while Jinjin still had no idea on what to do so that he can persuade Rocky into staying in the dormitory.

"Hey hyung! Sorry about that, I decided not to run... so I'll just wait for you so we can go to the studio together." Rocky said with a casual smile on his face, his eyes lingering on Jinwoo's body but Jinwoo was probably being too sensitive because of his misconceptions so he just nodded as he went to their room and change clothes.

"Do you really wanna go to the studio?" Jinjin asked as he came out of their room looking like a magazine model for a morning joggers wear. Guess being the fashionista really fit him, Rocky thought as he found that Jinjin's taste coincided with his pretty well.

"Well I'm already dressed for the studio so might as well right?"

"What about the park instead?" Jinjin said grasping at straws now... if they had to really leave the dorm then the park would be best, it was closer and Rocky can get fresh air and not get bored. He also knew that when Rocky was in the studio he will have the urge to dance at least once. 

"The park?"

"Yeah, we can have lunch at that nearby korean bbq shop... the weather is pretty nice out too since it's march... and it's your favorite place right"

Rocky tilted his head confused then smiled "Ok Park Jinwoo and Park Minhyuk dating in the Park... I like it, my three favorite Park in one day"

"So one of your favorite Park is yourself?" Jinjin chuckled at that.

"really hyung? that's what you reacted to?" Rocky said smiling while shaking his head

"Well I already know I'm one of your favorite Park's so that wasn't a shock to me... I know you love me" Jinjin joked as he helped Rocky up from the couch.

"Yup I sure do..." Rocky said with a small smile "But I'm telling my Mom and Dad that you just took their spot as one of my favorite Parks" 

"You wouldn't" Jinjin said with a mock shocked face.

"Oh I definitely will..." Both of them laughed as Jinjin helped Rocky out their dormitory. In Rocky's mind the hardest thing to say in that sentence was dating and Jinjin not picking up on the "date" made Rocky feel that dating Rocky was natural for Jinjin enough to not pick up on it.

"Uhmm... you don't seem to want my help, so how are we getting you down into the lobby?"

Rocky's cheeks blushed, feeling shy. He couldn't believe he was about to ask for his help. It was alright to be greedy right? If he was gonna be content with what was given to him he should be a little greedy to get more right?

"Hyung, can you help me like yesterday? here on your back?" He talked so quietly that the leader wasn't sure he really talked. When Jinjin noticed his friend was looking at his eyes, waiting, he realized he really did talk. He smiled at him and turned around, making himself lower so his friend could jump on his back.

Jinjin was now more aware of Rocky's presence the younger hand around his neck, the younger boy's nose tickling his nape and his breath tickling the hair in that area. It was slightly ticklish but in a more comfortable way.. Instead of holding unto Rocky's butt like yesterday he decided on holding him up by his thick things that was currently straddling his hips. He was more of Rocky now than yesterday and this small act of piggy ride was getting him aroused in a different way.

Rocky was taking it, if he had to be content with what was given then he will savor this moment. Jinjin's nape was in front of him and he laid his nose there sniffing. The newly showered Jinjin smelled really nice to him, honestly Jinjin always smelled nice maybe because he got used to using perfume. Though if Rocky was to be asked then he preferred Jinjin's natural scent which was like Vanilla with a whiff of mint. Jinjin was holding him up by his thigh unless like the day before where his butt was prodded by Jinjin's big hands. Both times it felt good so he wasn't really complaining. Take what was given, be content and not TOO greedy.

Jinjin tried to talk with his friend, as he was alone with him. And because he was still truly worried. "So hm... Is it better now?" He asked, biting his lips. He was afraid of talking about the reason why Rocky cried. He was afraid he would hurt him more if he talked about it. But at the same time he had to make sure he was okay - because he was the leader and if something was wrong he would need to fix it.

"I'm not sure if it's okay, but at least I can take it now. I can handle this much."

Jinjin could feel the other's breathing on his shoulder. It tickled. Rocky moved his head, placing his chin directly at the junction between Jinjin's neck and shoulder. Their face were incredibly close.

"I am sorry you saw me like that."

"You shouldn't be... that's what I'm here for you know... If I can't do something for you in those times then I don't see my point in being here"

It was a slip of tongue, Rocky knew it. Jinjin-hyung tried to hide it all the time but he knew that the older was much more vulnerable to sarcastic remark than he let on. He also knew that he shouldn't point it out because his hyung would feel responsible for making any of them guilty. They were new so they had roles to play and his role as leader was to be the stepping stone of everyone else. Jinjin's role wasn't to shine like the others, his role was to make others shine even if it meant dimming his own. His role hasn't started yet but it must be hard to know that was what he was good for. So everyone skirted around that problem.

Rocky forced himself to chuckle lightly. "Okay Eomma."

"Yah! Is that why I'm your favorite Park now?" Jinjin shook his friend a little, which made him laugh even more. As he was losing balance, he hugged Jinjin a lot more and hold him closer. The older could feel his heartbeat. It was going quite fast.

"Eomma. If you want to know everything, I must tell you this then."

"Hm?" Jinjin tried to look at the other but it was obviously way too difficult as he was behind him.

"I am happy right now."

Jinjin gave a light smile that the younger could not see... He was fine with this... Jinjin jokingly asked "You are? It's because you are teasing me, is that it? You like to call me Eomma?" Rocky bit his lip for a moment before answering. He was happy... because he was laughing with his crush... He was happy because his crush made him smile... He was happy because he knew he made Jinjin happy with his remark... and he was happy because he was with Jinjin.

"Maybe!" He answered instead and Jinjin shook him again, making both laugh loudly.

As they stepped out of the building a voice greeted them.

"Where you guys going?"

"Nowhere" said Rocky quickly as he noticed who the guy who asked was.

"Oh! Why are you here?"

"I was concerned that Rocky might insist on going to the studio so I came back and decided to kick his feet if he insists"

"Well you didn't have to... and why would you kick an injured dongsaeng?" Jinjin said with a shocked face.

Bin just pouted and gave an evil smile... Jinjin decided at that moment that he needed to make sure Bin was not randomly kicking injured members in the future.

"Why are you back hyung?" Jinjin asked as he saw that the eldest was in tow behind Bin pouting like there was no tomorrow.

He just stared at Jinjin without answering his question. It was Bin who answered for him "Eunwoo had an audition for some CF and Sanha had a last minute group project for school so we ended up being alone in the studio... and since I came back to make sure Rocky gets kicked..." again an evil smiley pout "i mean make sure he isn't thinking of moving anytime soon he was left alone and just decided to do his practice at home. So again hyung where are you going?"

"Oh, just at the park. Wanna come too?" Said Jinjin calmly.

Bin could see from his expression that Rocky didn't want him to come, it made him smirk.

"No I think I twisted a muscle earlier. I'll just stay home instead."

Jinjin looked worriedly at Bin.

"You hurt yourself? Where? We barely stretched and started practicing!" MJ finally talked, it seems he couldn't stop himself from talking

"I will be fine hyung" Bin said quickly as Rocky noticed that Bin made a playful punch on MJ's back "Don't worry about me and have fun with that kid"

Jinjin frowned but seemed to accept that everybody hurt themselves at some point. He worried too much about everybody - he knew it. It's what happens when you really care about your friends.

"I WANT TO GO TOO!" MJ said loudly

"Not a chance." Bin said as he dragged the older away

"No I don't want to go with you! You're a brute! You'll probably drag me to some gym to make me lose my beautiful belly!"

Jinjin looked over as Bin dragged the older inside the building he was sure that MJ had given him a devious smirk. He just shook his head and smiled at their antics. He looked over at Rocky's face as he noticed that the boy was slightly pink. He must have been embarrassed to be seen being piggy backed.


End file.
